Be Still…in the Midst of Chaos

Have you ever had one of those days where it was so busy, you felt like all you did was be in the car, and wasn’t home for more than an hour? That was my day, and it was a long day, and I still had to deal with my kids. I had to deal with them fighting, screaming, crying, asking all these questions…it just never ended. All day my husband kept asking me what was wrong, why was I on edge? I would tell him I was fine, and that it was just one of those days. Finally we were home, kids were fed, the TV was on, and I finished doing the dishes. I walked over to where my husband was sitting, and I knelt down in front of him, laid my head on his chest, and cried. I cried because I was exhausted. I cried because of how I treated him. I cried because of how I treated the kids. I cried because physically and emotionally I was not okay. I cried because I couldn’t feel peace. All day I felt like I was being torn in all different directions, and I couldn’t have a moment to just breathe, or to eat lunch without feeling like I’m inhaling it. Or to even use the restroom without a little person following me asking me questions like why we can’t touch the sun. I was done. As I sat there crying to my husband, a bible verse ran through my mind:

”Be still and know that I Am God…” Psalms 46:10

Did you catch that? “Be STILL and know that I am God…”

Be STILL.

So what? What about that verse stood out to me that it helped calm me, and helped bring my focus back to the Lord?

Guys, I can’t control anything. I can’t control how my day will be, how my kids will be, the kind of questions that my kids ask me. I can’t control anything. But what can I do? I can stop and be still. I can remember that it’s okay if I can’t control my day. It’s okay if no matter how many times I tell my kids to stop fighting, they’re going to figure out a way to fight because they’re sinful humans. I can’t control the questions my 3 year old asks me, because she doesn’t know but she knows mommy knows things. Even if she does ask me over, and over, and over, and over. But there is one thing that I can control.

I can control where I let my mind, and heart, take me. I can control keeping my emotions under control. I can control telling myself I will not snap at my husband and kids. I can control myself. I can make myself be still and rely on the Lord.

But what does that all mean? Yeah, it sounds good, but what does doing it look like? For me, being still in the moment is closing my eyes and saying a quick prayer before I answer the millionth question of the day. Being still in the moment is when I use the restroom, just take that time to pray. Being still in the moment means that as I’m cooking dinner, I’m going to turn on some worship music, or an audio book, or a podcast—taking that time with the Lord. Being still in the moment means that I turn the tv on, or I give my kids the iPads, and I go upstairs and just hug my husband for a second before going back down. Being still in the moment is closing my eyes and saying a prayer, or thanking the Lord for the life that He has blessed me with. Because yes, it’s stressful, it’s hard, the days are long, but they’re all so worth it. Being still almost sounds impossible, but I promise you it isn’t.

I want my children to remember that when things were hard, or there were tough days, their momma didn’t always yell and scream. Yes, I’m human and I know I am going to mess up with that at times, but I want them to remember that their momma closed her eyes and said a prayer. That she was still in the moment of chaos, and relied on the Lord. That their momma put their trust in Him, and knew that He had blessed her with this amazing life and family, and that He was going to get her through these chaotic times.

Not only do I want my children to remember that about me, but I also want them to learn that for themselves. I want them to learn how to be still in the moment. I want them to learn how to rely on the Lord. I want them to learn that no matter the chaotic situations that life throws, you have this amazing God who loves you and will get you through it all.

So from now on, whenever I have one of those days where I feel emotionally and physically wrecked and overwhelmed, I’m going to remember this verse. I’m going to remember “Be still and know that I Am God” I need to remember that the Lord is in control and He knows what is happening. He has already planned out my life. He knows how many hairs are on my head, for crying out loud! It’s like the song by Hillary Scott called Still.

“You’re parting waters, making a way for me. You’re moving mountains that I don’t even see. You’ve answered my prayers, before I even speak. And all You need for me to be, is STILL.”

If you have never heard this song before, I encourage you to listen to it. To listen and remember who God is, and all the promises that He has given us. I encourage you that in the midst of chaos, to find the time to be still. To “be still and know that I Am God”.