Understanding God’s Purpose for My Life.

Was there ever a time where you felt lost and confused? Was there ever a time where you had gone through life thinking you understood what your purpose was, but then things happened and you suddenly felt lost—unsure what your future holds? As I sit here, drinking my coffee, I’m trying to find the right words to say on this matter. I’m trying to find the most encouraging things. But to be honest, I have nothing. There are many times where I feel completely lost. There are many times that I don’t understand what my purpose is for my life. There are so many times that I want to yell at the Lord and beg Him to just show me what my future holds. But as believers we know that that’s not how the Lord works. It can be so frustrating.

Before I dive into what is being put on my heart, by the Lord, I want to make a quick disclaimer. I am in no way trying to enforce my beliefs on anyone. I am compelled to share what the Lord has placed on my heart, and my hope is that it reaches the people who may need to hear it the most, or to show you that even we believers struggle with these daily trials. The only difference is we are not alone in this endeavor.

There was a time in my life where I thought I had it all planned out. I thought I knew what I wanted to study in college, who I wanted to marry, how many kids I would have, pretty much all the things that a senior in high school would think about. But God doesn’t go off of our plans. He goes off of His! The first time I felt completely lost was when I decided I wanted to change my major from Culinary Arts to Biblical Counseling. This was even after 2 years of Culinary college! I couldn’t understand why I was making such a huge change, but I just felt like it was something I needed to do. Then shortly after the change, I found out I was going to be a mom. Probably important to note that I wasn’t married, and the father wasn’t someone I wanted to have a family with. But there I was changing majors, changing colleges, changing states, and changing the way I was going to be living my life. I was completely lost, and I had no idea what the Lord was trying to teach me through all this. I thought I had my life planned. I thought I knew every step I would make. I didn’t know, but God knew.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!”

This verse helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. I still repeat this verse whenever I feel like I have no idea what I am supposed to do. The comfort this verse gives is so incredible. We are able to look at this, and see that the Lord knows all His plans for our lives. The best part is, they’re plans that are going to give us hope and a future! They’re not going to be plans that will hurt us, or allow us to fail. God wants us to succeed. He wants us to be able to live a life glorifying to Him. He just wants us to put our trust in Him. The best part about this verse, to me at least, is the fact that I can RELAX. I can take whatever comes my way, because I know the Lord is control!

However, even though we know that He is in control, and we can fully rely on Him, that doesn’t mean that we don’t still have to work on things. We still need to make godly decisions, and we still need to make sure we’re living a life that is pleasing to the Lord. It’s not a “get out of jail free” card where we can do whatever we want, make a huge mess of our lives, and then expect God to come in and fix it. Not. At. All. We are expected to still live for the Lord, to glorify Him, to worship Him. Not just do whatever we want, whenever we want. But does that mean that if we do mess up, that God’s plan is void for our lives? Not at all! That is the what makes Him so incredible! We can still trust that the Lord has a plan for our lives, and that He is in control and will bring us through it. But we need to be able to give up our sinful lifestyles, and fully surrender to the Lord. When I found out I was pregnant, I surrendered to the Lord, and that’s when His blessings started over flowing in my life.

I went to a Christian college to work on my bachelors in Biblical counseling. I met 4 amazing girls who became my best friends. (Fun fact: We’re still best friends to this day, and they have been there for me through so much!) When I was 7 months pregnant the Lord unexpectedly brought the most amazing, godly man into my life. This man showed me the grace of God, he loved me despite my sinful past. This man encouraged me to live for the Lord, to continue to trust in Him and His plans for my life. God used him to help save me. This man became my amazing, god-fearing, husband. We will be married for 7 years next month, not only do we raise the child that technically isn’t biologically his, but we also have two amazing children of our own. (She may not be biologically his, but he loves her unconditionally, and would never view her as not his. She is his daughter through and through!)

Jump ahead to married life with 3 kids. My husband is a pastor, and I am a stay at home momma. For awhile I always knew that was the plan, and path, that the Lord had set before me. My purpose in life was to be at home, raise our children, and be there to support and encourage my husband. Along with ministering to the women of the church as best as I can. However, I am getting to a point in my life where my oldest is in 5th grade, my 2nd born will be going to Preschool, and I will be home with my youngest. Although I still believe that I am meant to be at home, and raise my children, there is this sneaky thought that keeps coming in my mind asking me “But what about when he goes to school?” Well, I’m not quite sure.

There are things that I know I want to do, but what if what I want isn’t what God wants for my life? Just because I’m married, and I have children, it doesn’t mean that I automatically trust that the Lord has a plan for my life. Not at all. While I KNOW that it’s true, I am still human and I struggle with the thought of not knowing what I am meant for once my kids go to school. I have things that I want to do, but is it what the Lord has planned for my life?

Psalm 119:105 says “Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path”

Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight”

Proverbs 16:4 says “The Lord works out everything to its proper end—even the wicked for a day of disaster”

Psalm 33:11 says “The plans of the Lord stands firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations”

These verses are such an encouragement to me, and I hope they will be to you as well. While there are times that we just don’t know, or understand, what the Lord has planned for our lives, we can rest assure that He HAS a plan. We need to trust in Him, we need to keep digging in the Word of the Lord. We can’t lean on just our knowledge of the word, but we need to lean on Him and what He has planned for our lives. We need to understand that He has a purpose for us, and a purpose for everything. The Lord knows everything about everyone, and everything. He knows our beginning, middle, and end.

Although I’m struggling with knowing what my purpose will be, once all my kids are in school for the day, and I am no longer a stay at home mom, I can find peace in the knowledge that the Lord knows. He has a purpose for my life. Right now my purpose is to raise my children, and to be there for my husband. What will my purpose be once the kids are gone? I’m not sure. But I do know that I don’t have to worry, or even think, about it right now. I can be at peace knowing the Lord has His plan for my life, and I can just continue to trust in Him, to worship Him, and to glorify Him!

What a relief, right??