Loving yourself

Have you ever looked at yourself and made a mental check list of everything that you think needs to be changed about yourself? I have, plenty of times. The way I feel about myself started with one of my past relationships. He was very emotionally abusive, and would always tell me how ugly and fat I was, and how I should feel lucky that he even loved me. That was my view of love at 17, loving someone, but making sure they knew they weren’t worth it. I do that to myself every time I look in the mirror. I go through and nitpick, and point out everything that I don’t like about myself. Things that I would want to change, and things that I would just like to get rid of.

Sometimes we think that it’s okay for us to do. It’s our body, so why not critique how we look? I know that there are plenty of times where I justified hating myself, and thinking that I had the right to do so. However, every time I did I would become angry at myself and start to hate myself even more. I slowly picked myself apart until I had nothing left to pick at. I even went so far as to pick at who I am on the inside. I literally tore myself apart, and hated every little ounce of me. My feelings for myself increased with each one of my kids. The baby weight just kept piling on, and then dealing with postpartum depression made me just want to eat, and not really worry about how I looked. I was at a point where I was miserable, and hated looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t understand how my husband loved me, or how on earth did he find me attractive?? The thoughts raced through my mind, and then they slowly controlled me. If I’m being perfectly honest with you all, they still do sometimes.

Psalm 139:14 says “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well”.

That verse rings through my head every time I make a negative comment about myself. It makes me stop and think about what I just said, and how that was wrong of me. Who am I to tell myself I am not worth anything, when the Lord of the universe created me! He created me and said that I was GOOD. He created me in His image! God doesn’t make mistakes, He doesn’t mess up. Therefore, I am not a mistake, or a mess up. I was WONDERFULLY made.

So that’s all great, right? But you may still be thinking “I still don’t like myself, that doesn’t change how I feel about myself”. I get that. I still struggle daily with who I am, and how I look. So what are ways that we can change that? How can we begin to love ourselves the way that Christ loves us?

1.) Dig into the Word of God and find how He thinks of you. Take time to look through the Bible and figure out how the Lord views you. Just like the verse we looked at in Psalm, how we were fearfully and wonderfully made. When you read that, how does that make you feel? For me, it sparks a light in me that I am worthy of love, and that I shouldn’t be ashamed of myself. The Lord made me in His image, therefore I am beautiful!

2.) Take time to work on yourself. When I say to take time to work on yourself, that doesn’t mean to go out and do some sort of crazy surgery. I mean, if you feel like you are overweight, what can you do about it? I go 3 days a week to a personal trainer. She trains me in areas that I told her I wanted to work on, and being overweight, that’s everywhere! She gives me a list of foods that I should and shouldn’t eat. I am taking time out, 40 minutes 3 days a week, to work on MYSELF. Friends, I can’t even begin to tell you the difference it has made on me mentally. To know that I am doing what I can to work on myself, and then slowly seeing changes that are happening, really helps me. It shows me that I can do this, and I can feel good about myself, and love myself. But it takes works, friends. It’s slow, but it’s worth it!

3.) Talk to someone that you can trust. I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful this one has been! I have this best friend, and I have poured my heart out to her about how much I hated myself, and how I feel awful, and gross. She is always there to listen to me, and to encourage me to keep moving. She even helps me by doing it with me! Sometimes having a friend that we know we can turn to, and pour our hearts out to, is really all that we need. If you’re married, or in a relationship, it can be difficult to believe your spouse/partner when they say you’re beautiful. You feel like they feel that they need to say that. So sometimes having a friend that you know will be brutally honest with you, even if it hurts, is the best one to turn to! They will tell you the truth in a loving way, and go along side you to help you through it. Whether or not they’re going to do things with you, or just be there for you to cry to when your body hurts or when you’re hungry. Either way, having a friend is key, at least for me!

4.) Lastly, believe in yourself! You will get nowhere if you continue thinking that you can’t do it, or that you’re not worth fighting for. I will tell you right now, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Friend, you’re beautiful, smart, and worth so much love! This is the point where I should say “don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”. However, I’m going to say–don’t let YOURSELF tell you otherwise! You need to get out of habit of thinking so bad about yourself, because remember, God made you WONDERFULLY! You need to admit that you need to work on yourself, inside and out, and then actually do something about it. You’ve got this friend, and I will be right here to help you through it!

I hope this has been an encouragement for some of you, because it was something that I needed to write. I didn’t want to admit any of this to myself, but when I did I started to love myself more! Friends, please remember that you are wonderfully made by a wonderful God! A God who knitted you inside your mother’s womb! He knew you before you were even born, before your mom was even born! I know that Satan likes to make us hate ourselves, and I know that it’s so easy to start doing! But, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth the heartache, the sadness, it’s just not.

Please know that I am here if any of you need any sort of encouragement! I am just an email away! I am on this path my friends, and I am not perfect at it either! I still struggle with loving who I am, so I completely understand! Please reach out to me if you need any encouragement at all!

Until next time, friends!!