Trust in the Lord…

Hello my friends! I wanted to start out by apologizing for taking so long to write a new post. Life had suddenly got very overwhelming. There were a lot of things we needed to work through and had to figure it all out. However, I definitely learned a lot of amazing lessons that I am excited to share with you all! One of the most beautiful things is when the Lord takes a situation where you feel like you’re drowning, and He turns it into something to glorify Him, and helps you get through it, no matter how difficult it is!

I believe I have mentioned before how our one-year-old son was diagnosed with lead poisoning. It definitely was a shock to us, and has completely turned our lives upside down, for the time being at least. Because my husband is a pastor, we live in the parsonage–which is a house that the church owns that the pastor and his family can stay in. When we found out about our son, we have been working with the church, and the health department, to get the work done on the house that was necessary. His levels were 6 points away from going in the hospital, so this is definitely a serious situation. We had to find a contractor, that was certified to work with lead, and had to move out of our house for 2 weeks. To make a long story short, things have not worked out quite the way they were supposed to, and a month later we are still out of our house, and don’t know when we’ll be able to move back in. It has been a tiring, and overwhelming month. We’re living week to week in this house, never knowing when the landlord will ask us to leave, the contractors are not doing their jobs, and we’re trying to find another place in case we need to move out.

I have gotten to a point that when people ask me how I’m doing, my response is “I’m numb right now”. I’ve gone through the emotions of annoyed, angry, so now I’m just numb. I have cried so much in this past month, that I feel like I can’t cry any more, that I’ve cried all my tears. But I also know that this is only the beginning. I’ve struggled with the thought that the people that should be caring about my sons health, aren’t caring at all. I have felt as if they have dragged their feet through this whole situation. I do know that COVID has not been kind to anyone, so I will give them that. However, as a momma it’s making me so upset. There have been many days where I have cried into my husbands shoulders as he held me. There have been many times where I’ve called my mom crying because I didn’t know what to do, and I couldn’t do anything! It was out of my control. I have sunk so far into depression that I knew Satan was thrilled, and he was going to use that to harden my heart towards the Lord. There have been a few times that I have felt like I was allowing Satan to win, but then I go to my husband and ask him to pray with me. Through all of this, I am reminded of the verse..

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

There are so many times that trusting in the Lord seemed impossible, for this situation. But when I would ask my husband to pray with me, I immediately felt a sudden relief. A relief that I know was given to me by the Lord! The amount of comfort I felt immediately after the prayer felt like someone was giving me a big hug. This verse reminds me that I don’t need to trust in myself. I don’t need to trust in the contractors, or even the church, to help my son’s body heal. I need to put my trust fully in the Lord, because at the end of the day, He is the only one who loves my son more than his father and I do! The Lord cares so deeply for our son, that He knew all of this was going to happen, and yet He also knows that He will be glorified through this!

I believe that the Lord is being glorified through this struggle, because I know He is teaching me to be have trust in Him. The Lord has continually proven that He is in control, I have just shown over and over that my faith isn’t as strong as I had thought. But the amazing thing is, the Lord already knew that, and He still was there for us! There have been 3 things that I have been the most thankful for, through this all.

1. Our sons levels are coming down! As soon as we got out of our house, and got away from all the lead, our sons numbers are dropping! This has been such an incredible blessing because they were going back up! Taking him out of the, quite literally, toxic environment, has made the biggest difference in him! Thank you Jesus!

2. My husband and I have grown stronger in our marriage. These situations can be one of those things that can cause a division between spouses. However, by the grace of the Lord, my husband and I have seemed to be making our way through this stronger than ever! I am so thankful for him, and so blessed that the Lord made him for me. I don’t think I could have gone through this without his love and support!

3. The Lord! He has been the biggest thing I have been most thankful for! I know that without the Lord, we wouldn’t have made it this far! There are times that I can’t understand how some people go through this life without the Lord! I don’t think I could handle any of it!

When you believe in the Lord, it doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen to you. You’re bound to have something happen, because we live in a sinful, fallen world. Bad things are going to happen, but it’s how we respond to them that makes a difference! Friends, I want so badly for you to understand how big of a difference believing in the Lord can make! Especially in situations like this! The Lord loves us, and longs for us to turn to Him, to trust in Him, to rely on Him! We may not always understand why the Lord is making us go through certain trials, but what we can be sure of is that there is a reason for it! He has a reason and a purpose! Believe in Him, friends. Trust in Him! Allow Him to take control of your life, and you will see an incredible difference!

Until next time, friends!