Learning to deal with Emotions

I have never been one who could handle emotions well. I get overwhelmed easily, and I shut down. Emotions, especially negative ones, really scare me. My emotions range from all different things. Cravings for foods that I can’t eat on this new health journey, my kids not being treated fairly by friends, anxiety different things, the constant feeling of depression, and so much more. It’s hard to understand the emotions we’re feeling, and even sometimes why we’re feeling these emotions. This doesn’t mean that our emotions aren’t valid, because they are. But I believe it means that sometimes we have to learn to control them. Are we handling the emotions in the way we’re supposed to, or are we letting our emotions handle us?

Emotions are not Bad

It’s not bad to have emotions, or to let yourself feel these emotions. God made us with the purpose of feelings these emotions. But just like everything, sometimes we can let our emotions get out of hand.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

   a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

Ecclesiastes 3:1; 3:4 NIV

I love this verse because it doesn’t take away the importance of our feelings and emotions, but it reminds us that there are times for those emotions. There are certain times that it makes sense for us to feel a certain way.

This afternoon I was in the car with my husband, and I started crying because I was hungry and I was really just wanting to eat. I knew we have one of my favorite snack foods in our freezer, and I told my husband, while crying, that I was really tempted to eat those even though I knew I shouldn’t. Was that wrong of me to have that emotion? Absolutely not. I have to be gracious to myself and remind myself that I’m on this health journey where I am completely changing my eating lifestyle. I’m going from eating whatever I want, not caring about the outcome, to actually be cautious and disciplined. Of course, this emotion is going to come up!

When my kid is having a hard time with one of her friends at school, and she tells me the things her friend has said to her, am I wrong for having this angry emotion? No! Because my kid is being hurt by someone else’s words and actions. I’m allowed to be upset. These feelings are valid, and the Lord created us with them. They’re not bad. We just need to learn to control them.

When Emotions are out of Control

I believe there are times when our emotions can be completely out of control. I’ll use the two examples I used before.

Although I have every right to be having a hard time with not being able to eat, I need to be careful that I don’t let that emotion control my day. Okay, so I cried about it to my husband. Fine. But now it’s time that I let go of it and give it to the Lord. I can’t allow myself to sit here and focus on the fact that I can’t eat, and allow it to take over my day, so I am crying all the time, and ruining my family’s day. That’s not okay. I am now taking my emotions and forcing my family to feel the same way. Remember the verse from before? The time I spend with my family is not the time to cry over the foods I cannot eat. Does this mean we can’t still feel the emotions? Absolutely not. We’re human. We’re going to continue to feel the emotions. However, I will not let it ruin the time I have with my family. After all, this was my decision to begin this healthy lifestyle, not theirs.

When my kid is being treated unfairly by a friend, I may feel upset about that and that’s my right as her mom. However, I shouldn’t hold on to that feeling of anger. Instead, I need to help my daughter learn how to deal with people like that, because we all know it won’t be the last time she encounters situations like that. It’s also not my husband’s fault that kids are being mean to her, so thinking I have the right to take that anger out on my husband is wrong of me. What am I teaching our daughter by doing that? I’m teaching her that it’s okay to not control your emotions, and that isn’t okay!

How can we Control these Emotions?

So, how do we control the emotions when they want to pop up? Because they’re going to. We’re human, and it’s hard to stay in control of our emotions. It’s hard to not let an emotion affect an area of our lives that it has no right being there. Emotions are such powerful things that sometimes we forget we need to control them, that there is a time and a place for certain emotions.

 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

When we face a situation where our emotions, about something else, are trying to make their way into our current situation, we need to learn that we really can’t face it on our own. We need to let go and let God handle it all. We need to turn to Him and pray that He helps us through this, and that He allows us to keep those emotions under control.

If I’m feeling hungry and upset that I can’t eat that slice of pizza, or drink that cold Pepsi, I need to turn to the Lord ask Him to help control these emotions, and to not let it ruin the time that I have with my family. I know I can’t do it without the Lord’s strength. I’m too weak, and I will allow all the emotions to rule over me.

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.

Psalm 119:105

This verse helps to remind me to turn my mind to the Lord, and to read His Word, because that’s where I’m going to find the strength I need to overcome all emotions. He has given us a clear path to follow, and I need to start using it! Going to the Lord in prayer is something that can help us control our emotions as well. We sometimes forget that we have this amazing God who loves us and wants to help us. We think we can control things on our own, but we can’t. Satan works overtime to get us to sin against the Lord, and sometimes it starts with our emotions and attitudes.

My friends, our emotions can be beautiful because it’s how God made us! But we need to remember that they can also be used against us, and used for evil. My prayer is that we can all lean on the Lord for His guidance, and figure out when our emotions are being used at the right time. It’s hard, and I won’t ever claim to be perfect at it, but it’s something that I want to challenge myself to change, and I challenge you as well! But be encouraged, friends! Remember that the Lord loves you and wants nothing but the best for you! He is ready to help us!

Until next time!