Dealing with the Big “D” Word

Dealing with the big “D”. Originally, I had plans to write about something else, something that didn’t have to do with depression. But I’m going to be honest with you all, it’s something that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while. My goal in this blog has been to be real and open with you all, and show that you’re not alone with things! One of the biggest things that I find some people feel alone in is mental health. So here I am, discussing with you something that isn’t discussed enough.

There’s this word that starts with “D” that I know many people don’t like admitting to having, or people act like they’re going to catch it if you say you struggle with it, and even some people think that struggling with it makes you less of a Christian. What’s this word?

Depression.

I’ve struggled with depression for quite a few years now. It’s difficult to deal with, but it’s also something that we need to fight to not allow it to control our lives. While depression can cause a lot of damage to ourselves, and the people in our lives, I believe there is beauty in the struggle with it, and fighting through it!

Who does Our Depression Affect?

Ourselves

Obviously, we know that depression affects us, the people who are dealing with it. It makes it hard for us to do anything else throughout the day, and we feel like we’re drowning. For me, I feel like I can’t get anything done, and I do not know how to get a grasp on my emotions and the way I’m feeling. I feel like I’m completely lost, and nothing that I’m feeling makes any sense. There will be times I try to talk myself out of my depression, and even feeling guilty for struggling with this because I seem to let my family slip. Not only do I feel bad, but I’m easily angered and irritable, which makes me feel awful when I get upset with my kids or my husband. Dealing with depression can be different for everyone, but no matter how it’s effecting you, it’s effecting you. One effect isn’t worse than the other, they’re all bad and a struggle to overcome! Don’t let anyone make you feel differently, or like your depression isn’t as bad as theirs.

Our Family

Our depression can really affect our family. Whether or not we like it, our family knows us so well and can instantly tell when we’re not ourselves. If you’re like me, then you get irritable and angry very easily. There are times when I’m getting angry and yelling, and then I hear myself and I’m screaming at myself to stop because they don’t deserve it. But sometimes it’s hard for us. Depression can feel like we’re fighting ourselves at every turn, so when we’re getting mad at our family, we can tell ourselves to stop, but sometimes that doesn’t work.

My husband is absolutely amazing when I’m struggling with my depression. He’ll sit and hold me as I cry, he’ll pray with me when I ask him to, or he’ll just sit in the quietness with me. He’ll listen to me and never pass judgment. Although he’s amazing, and he’ll help me through it, I know that it’s still a struggle for him. I know he misses his wife, and who I am when I’m not struggling with the depression, but I also know that he understands that I miss myself as well, and I’m trying hard to get her back. Whether or not your spouse or significant other understands and tries hard to help you through it, it’s still hard for them. Don’t think that it doesn’t affect them. They’re hurting because you’re hurting.

Friends

I know that this may seem weird to some people, but I believe that our friends can be affected by our depression. They notice when you stop talking, hanging out, or if you seem off. I have this one friend where if she doesn’t hear from me within a certain amount of time, I always get a message from her asking if I’m okay, because she knows that when I go quiet, I’m not doing okay. Now don’t get me wrong, I love having a friend who knows me so well, and loves me so much, but I don’t like the idea that this has become a normal thing where she knows this about me. I thank the Lord for the good friends that are there for you throughout it all, and don’t mind helping you through it, but it’s still hard to think that your friends are affected by your depression. Whether it’s not responding to them, avoiding hanging out, or even getting snippy with them.

Here’s the big one…

The Lord

Your relationship with the Lord is highly affected when you’re dealing with depression, at least I know for me it is. I’ll struggle with doing my quiet time, praying, reading the Bible, and even going to church. It’s not that I don’t want to do those things, it’s just it’s hard to do them. When I’m struggling with depression, the last thing I turn to is the Lord. I’m not too sure why, but parts of me wonder if it’s because I don’t want that instant relief that I know the Lord can give me. Sometimes it’s even because I’m so focused on myself, I don’t think about turning to the Lord, and I know that He’s there screaming at me to run to Him because He’s the only thing that can sustain me through it!

Lessons You can Learn Through Your Depression

I do believe there are some lessons that can be learned through depression.

You’re Stronger Than You Think

Friends, you’re so much stronger than you could ever imagine. Struggling with depression is difficult. It’s not something that we’ll be cured of, or never have to deal with it. But it’s something that we can learn to manage as best as we can. Maybe it’s something that we have to understand what triggers us to get into this state, and doing the best to avoid those triggers. I know, easily said than done! But what an empowering feeling knowing that we have the ability to feel when we’re getting depressed, and doing what we can to overcome it! Maybe we’ll succeed, and maybe we’ll fail. If you fail friends, please don’t ever beat yourself up for that. You’re human, after all.

The Lord Loves You More Than You will Ever Imagine

Friends, the Lord truly loves you and longs for you to run to Him, because in Him we will find peace! We’ll find the peace that we’re longing for, and that we’re searching for. We’re just searching for it in all the wrong places.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18 NIV

Friends, He’s close to us. We may not always feel it, trust me, I know I don’t always feel it. But He’s there, He’s there for us and longs for us to embrace Him, because He wants to save us! What a refreshing thought!

He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds

Psalms 147:3 NIV

The Lord can heal us, even when we don’t think He can’t, He does. Depression may not be something that we can ever be fully “healed” from, but it’s something that we know the Lord can help us with. When we run to Him, we know that we’re getting help from the Lord, that He loves us, and is there for us when we’re needing Him the most.

 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27 NIV

I love this verse because it’s the Lord promising us that He is always with us, even when He seems so far. He states that He’s giving us this peace, a peace that is so different from what the world can offer. When we’re struggling with depression, when we’re feeling like we’re alone, or like we don’t know how to get out, we can always be assured that the Lord is there and is helping us! He’s our strength when we feel like we can’t be strong anymore. What a precious reminder!

My friends, please know that if you’re struggling with depression, you’re not alone. Please understand that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be struggling. Know that you’re not less of a Christian, but remember that you have this mighty Lord who is longing to be that peace for your heart! Always remember that you’re so much stronger than you think you are, and you deserve to be as happy and free from your depression, and that you’re loved! So so loved!

Until next time!

If you ever need to talk, or have a prayer request, please feel free to contact me!

Also, check out my husband’s blog!