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Posted on September 17, 2024
It’s no secret that I’ve dealt a lot with food, I’ve shared a lot about my food/weight struggles. Food has been a comfort to me in times of bad, and good. It has been something that I use knowing that I have full control on what I eat and how much I eat. Unfortunately, food is something that brings me great peace, and happiness.
Obviously food is not bad, and loving food isn’t bad. God gave us food because He knew we needed it to survive.
“Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.” –Genesis 9:3
Looking at this verse we see that God told Noah and his sons that all the animals would fear them, and that every living thing will be available for them to eat. So looking at this verse, we know that God intended for us to be able to eat, because He knows that we need it to survive. The Lord knew we needed food even after he created Adam and Eve.
“Then God said, ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food’.” –Genesis 1:29
From the beginning of creation, God knew that we needed food. Once Adam and Eve sinned, it became more important that we have food. Having a feeling of craving for food isn’t what’s normal.
We aren’t designed to crave food. We’re designed to crave the Lord. In my opinion, Lysa TerKeurst says it best:
“God made us capable of craving so we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only one capable of satisfying them.” –Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave
Our desires, our cravings, should be in the Lord and not food. While food gives us the temporary good feelings, the peace and strength that we can get from the Lord is far better! We were created to desire Him, and to want Him and Him alone.
“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on Him, God the Father has placed His seal of approval” –John 6:27
“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the Bread of Life. Whoever comes to Me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty'” –John 6:35
We need to crave the Lord the way we crave food. He is the only way we’re going to find that fulfillment, and acceptance. Yes, food is incredible, and definitely fills a temporary void. But that’s just it, it’s temporary. If you’re like me, when you feel bad about something you’re going to turn to food and binge eat. Then after you’re done, you’re feeling disgusting, and awful, about what you just did. Imagine if I took that desire to eat, and turned it into prayer!
“Each time I craved something I knew wasn’t part of my plan, I used that craving as a prompt to pray. I craved a lot. So, I found myself praying a lot.” –Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave
Can you imagine the difference that this mindset can do in our lives? To turn our focus from food, to the Lord. To take time to pray to Him whenever we’re feeling the desire to fix our problems with food, we take a temporary fix and do a permanent fix. Of course this isn’t something that can be done overnight, or even in a few months. Like anything, it’s going to take time to retrain our minds to make turning to the Lord the priority over food. But if we truly make it a habit, and work on it continually, it’s going to be something that happens without us even thinking of it! I know I still struggle doing this, but it’s something that I feel myself trying to do more of. I want the Lord to be the only thing to help me, to be the only thing I need to feel fulfilled. However, I know that we live in a fallen world where Satan is going to take any of our weaknesses and use them against us. So my friends, if this is something that you feel like you’re struggling with, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and I am praying for you! I would like to leave you with a question that Lysa TerKeurst asks in her book:
“Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?” –Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave
Is it possible? Until next time, friends!
Posted on December 12, 2022
One thing that I really can’t stand is when I feel like I have failed. I may not have failed, but I may think that I have. When I get that feeling, it’s so hard for me to shake it off. (Que Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off song!) When I get in the feeling of failing, I automatically give up whatever I’m trying to do, and I go into depression. I start thinking how I can’t ever do anything right, and how I’m never going to achieve the goal that I’m wanting to. Even though I know all of that isn’t true, I can’t seem to get myself to believe it.
If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that I have been on a weight loss journey for over 2 months now. Within those 2 months I’ve lost 29lbs and 2oz! Now, I know that’s really great, and I’m honestly really proud of myself! But it’s hard to not feel like I’ve been failing at this whole weight loss journey as well.
Over Thanksgiving, I allowed myself to enjoy the time with my family, and not be so strict on what I was eating, or when. I completely went off my weight loss journey, and I just enjoyed my time. At the time I was so glad that I did that. I didn’t eat nearly what I used to, and I didn’t force myself to eat either. So I felt like I did really well. However, because I gave myself that break, it ended up putting me into a spiral that I’ve been struggling with gaining control back. Not to mention all the tummy issues I was having!! That definitely showed me that my digestive system cannot handle what I used to eat!
I’ve allowed myself to go in a spiral of eating whatever I want, or snacking on things that I know I shouldn’t. It’s been hard for me to not go to the victim mentality, but to admit that I’m doing it to myself. When I allow myself to play the victim role, I allow myself to be opened to depression and Satan taking those feelings and using them to bring me down.
Basically, all my struggles have been wanting to start eating the way I use to. When I snack, I remind myself what things taste like, and it’s hard for me to step away from the food. Food is truly an addiction to me, and right now I feel like I’m starting over on the withdrawl symptoms!
This morning I started a new workout routine. I woke up at 5am, had my first meal, and then started working out at 5:30am. Beachbody on Demand has a program with Autumn Calabrese that I’m using. I really enjoy her workouts, because they push me where I need to be pushed, but she does so well to make them doable by someone who doesn’t workout much! This program is only 4 days for 30 minutes! It’s perfect for me, and my current phase of life. I’m able to get a workout in before the kids wake up, and finish in time to help them get ready for school. I have it planned to workout Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. My goal is to stick with this program for a week. Obviously, the big goal is to do the entire program, but I have to take baby steps!
I’m tired of allowing Satan to have control of my emotions, and I’m ready to take control back and give it all to the Lord. I know I haven’t failed, but I also know that I haven’t been practicing the self-control like I need to. My goal this week is to take that control back! I know it will not be easy, but I also know I can do it. Again, one step at a time, and one goal at a time! When I have to make dinner for my family, and I’m really wanting to sneak a bite, I’m going to step back, pray, and take a drink of water. If the feelings are still there, then I need to reach out to my husband for his support and ask him to finish whatever it is I’m making. I know he wants me to succeed, and so I know he’ll be ready to help me!
My friends, it can be so hard to forgive ourselves. Trust me, I know. But I believe there is a power in forgiving ourselves. Now, I don’t mean the power you would see in the movies or read in books. I mean the power that I believe the Lord gives us to overcome all these struggles!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 NIV
These are the fruits of the Spirit that the Lord allows us to have. There are three of them that I want to point out.
Forbearance: Forbearance means patience, restraint, tolerance. In other translations, forbearance is replaced with patience. The Lord gives us the fruit of patience, restraint, tolerance. Knowing this, I want to be patient with myself, allowing myself to learn and to grow. No matter how hard it may be!
Gentleness: When you see this word, you may not fully understand why this is one that I want to point out. After all, I’m talking about the way I view, and feel, about myself. When you think of gentleness, you automatically think about being gentle to others. But I’m using it because I need to be gentle with myself. I’m my worse critic. I will bash myself and be the first one to point out everything negative about myself. That isn’t fair to me. The Lord created me in His image, and I need to be gentle with His creation! Yes, I need to have control, and I need to practice tough love for myself. But I also need to remember to be gentle with myself, because I am working on something that has had control over me.
Self-Control: I know no one likes self-control. I don’t like self-control! But it’s such an important piece! Without self-control, we wouldn’t be able to take care of ourselves properly. I need to learn self-control when I’m cooking dinner, or at an event for our church. I need to know that the joy that I feel in that bite of pasta will not be there all the time. It’s a temporary joy that will eventually be replaced with a feeling of failure. Strengthening this fruit of the Spirit will place a tremendous impact on my health journey from now on.
That is where I’m currently at in my weight loss journey. I know that I have a long way to go, but I also know that I have a faithful God who will be there for me every step of the way! Remember, friends, be patient with yourself, and give yourself grace!
Until next time!
Posted on November 11, 2022
If you ask my husband what is one word to describe me the best, I’m pretty sure that word wouldn’t be patient. Not that he would ever mean that in a mean way, but my patience runs very, very low. I’ve always been a person who wanted fast results. I hate waiting for things to arrive, and I hate when things take so long. If I am given an option to go home with something right away, I want to do that! If I can make something come in an overnight shipping or two-day shipping, then I’m going to pick that! But when I know I have to wait longer, I get very impatient. Not just with those things, which I know seem very trivial, but also when it comes to my kids helping me in the kitchen. I wish I could be that kind of social media mom that loves baking and cooking with her kids, and posts pictures of them laughing and smiling, having a grand time. But I’m not. I’m really not. Obviously I’ll do it because I love them, and they get so excited to do it with me, but if I could pick to not have them help, I would.
However, there is one big thing that I struggle with, when it comes to having patience, my weight loss journey.
I’ve never always been the weight that I’m at now. I used to be very skinny, because I played a lot of sports as a kid. The weight gain has been in the course of 12 years, from trauma, and emotional eating. I understand that it’s really not an excuse, but that’s how my story started. Trying to lose weight has always been something I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve never wanted to work hard for it. I always wanted to do the fastest way possible. It took a long time for me to realize that I can’t do it that way. I’ve tried diets where people claim to have fast results, and I’ve even tried taking some green coffee bean pills that were supposed to work fast as well.
One thing that I’ve learned is being impatient will not get you what you want sooner. When it comes to my weight loss, I know that trying to get it done quicker is going to actually cause more damage to myself than good. I could get hurt, or even not allow myself the healthy amount of calories because I’m so impatient with losing the weight, that I do things that can actually hurt me. All for the fastest results.
One thing that really makes being patient hard is when I know I’m feeling so much better than I did when I was eating whatever I wanted. But then when I look in the mirror, I can’t see the change. I feel like I am stuck and have lost nothing. Do my clothes fit better? Yep. Do I feel like I have way more energy? Yep. Am I seeing the scale drop? Yep. I can see all these things, and know these things, but it doesn’t seem to get any easier, and my impatience keeps running wild!
Being patient is truly one of the most difficult things to deal with, and I feel that struggle more when it comes to my weight loss journey. I know I need to have control when it comes to being patient. I know that big weight changes will not happen overnight, and that’s okay. What I cannot allow myself to do is get discouraged and depressed because the numbers aren’t changing as fast as I want them to. I see the non-scale victories, but the numbers are still high. So how do we gain control of our patience?
I honestly wish I knew the answer to that. But one thing I know is that the Lord is in control of my life, and He knows my deepest desires. I need to be patient and rely on Him, because He is the one who is guiding my way.
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14 NIV
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Romans 8:25-26 NIV
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12 NIV
There are many other verses that show how important it is to be patient and wait on the Lord, and to rely on Him and His plans for us. It’s not a simple thing to do, because I’m still working on it! But I know that if I continue to trust in Him, and to be patient in Him, then I know the Lord will do what He knows is best for me!
My friends, I don’t think having control of our patience is ever going to be something that we will be perfect at. I think we’re always going to have these moments of wanting things done when we want them. But I believe that if we wait on the Lord, and we are faithful in the things that we have to do, then our reward will be great!
This week, instead of getting impatient with myself, or mad, or discouraged, I’m going to work on my patience. I’m going to work on telling myself that slow and steady wins the race, and to be encouraged by all the non-scale victories! If you struggle with patience as well, maybe not in the same way I do, then that will be my prayer for you this week!
Until next time, friends!
Posted on November 7, 2022
Most of you know that 5 weeks ago, I started this new health journey. It hasn’t been easy at all, but it has been rewarding. In 5 weeks I’ve lost 20lbs and 2oz. If I was comfortable enough with telling you my starting weight, then you’d understand why this is an enormous accomplishment for me! However, there have been some major struggles that I’ve been dealing with. The biggest one has been the cravings. I’ve never wanted pizza as bad as I do right now. The struggle to not just eat anything I can find, but to actually discipline myself and make myself control these cravings.
One thing that I’ve been learning through this new healthy journey is the importance of a healthy mindset.
A habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations
onelook.com
Mindset is our mental attitude, which will determine how we respond to something. Basically, if we go into a situation thinking how awful it’s going to be, then we’re going to make it a struggle for ourselves. I tell my oldest, if you go to school thinking that you’re going to have a bad day, then guess what! You’re going to have a bad day! Our mindsets control our attitude more than what we may want to admit.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve woken up with the mindset that I’m grumpy and hungry. I’ve allowed that mindset to control my day and my attitude! Because of that, I’ve cried to my husband about how hungry I am, smelling the foods that I can’t eat, sneaking small little tastes of things and then feeling guilty over it, and so much more. If I had the mindset of being in control of these cravings and desires, I sometimes wonder how much easier it would be!
Gaining control of our mindsets is the first step. There have been many times where I’ve liked to blame my mindset on other things. Whether it be the environment I’m in, my mental health (depression, anxiety, etc.), the food itself, any hormonal moments, really anything as long as I’m not blaming myself. But that right there is the problem! I’m not taking as much responsibility as I could.
When we place blame on others, we give away our power and surrender control, and we place the cause and reason outside of ourselves. When we decide we are the dominant force in our lives, we are taking back our power and responsibility, and the cause now lies inside ourselves.
Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
I know I can’t be the only one who read that and thought, oh wow! I never took time to really think about how blaming others takes my power over my control away from me. It’s always easier to blame someone else for the mistakes, pain, lack of control, whatever it is, it’s easier to blame them than ourselves. But what happens to our mindset when we decide we will not take responsibility?
This leads to a state of internal unrest, anxiety, and a highly stressed state, all of which are unhealthy for your body, mind, and overall wellbeing. It also leads to bad habits, like emotional eating, increased alcohol intake, drug dependency, internet and smartphone addiction, gambling, stress, and depression.
Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
Who would’ve thought that our mindset could truly control these different things? Before I began this health journey, I never really realized how important a healthy mindset was to my success. I figured as long as I followed the “rules” I would be fine. While that is technically true, imagine how much easier it would be if I had the right, healthy mindset to go along with it! Gaining control of your mindset starts with not putting blame on others. We need to take responsibility for our mindset and not expect others to fix it.
My friends, it will not be easy. It’s not something that you’re going to wake up and fix that day. This is something that’s going to take years to gain control of. But one of the most important steps is that we see that we’re struggling in this area, and we begin to fix it! I promise you, you will have many days that you will cry, blame others again, feel so defeated, and probably give in to your cravings. But if we continually work on it, and we really try to change the way we think of situations, then we’re going to see how incredible we can be when we are in control!
You need to be your own chief advocate on your journey and have the ability to minimize anything or anybody throwing you off track.
Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
There is so much more to learn when it comes to a healthy mindset. I believe it’s something that every day we’ll learn something new, and every day we’ll be surprised with how much we can overcome when we take control and responsibility of our mindsets! I do not claim to be an expert, because I’m only 5 weeks into learning about this myself! However, I can tell you how easier your day is when you have a healthy control of your mindset!
Until next time, friends!
Posted on October 26, 2022
This isn’t a typical post that I would go for, because it’s something very personal to me, and something that I’m quite sensitive about. However, I decided this might be one way for me to stay accountable on this journey. I figured, why not bring you guys along on it? This will not turn into a wellness blog, or anything like that, but I thought I would share things along the way!
For as long as I could remember, I’ve always loved food. It was something that always brought me comfort, and whenever my family got together, we enjoy eating! After a while, food became an obsession, and it was something I used to make me feel better. It became an unhealthy habit. I went through a tough 3 years, beginning my senior year of high school. Food became something that I used to make me feel better, and to comfort me. I would end up replacing food with things that would be more beneficial to help me through my emotions. So my love for food was quite vast, and I always enjoyed trying new foods! But there would be a danger, along with this love for food. I would make myself eat so much until I hurt, because that pain was what I had control over. I couldn’t control anything else that I was going through, but I could control that. The amount of weight that I gained was outrageous. But I didn’t care.
I continued to not really care about my weight until I turned 30 and realized the effects of my weight were catching up to me. I struggled with my health, and getting certain numbers where they needed to be. I had tried Weight Watchers a few times, and other diets. But nothing seemed to work for me.
Not only were issues with my health arising, but also emotionally. My weight caused some depression, because I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. Of course, I am the one in control of these feelings, and my weight. However, once I reached a certain pound, I felt like it was impossible to lose any. I essentially gave up hope and thought that I would be overweight for the rest of my life.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV
Whenever I read that verse, I instantly become ashamed of myself. Here I am, overweight, and my body is a temple of the Lord, and I am meant to take care of that body. To honor the Lord with my body. While I believe that the Lord does care about our health, I also do not think I was dishonoring Him. Remember, He knows everything before it happens. He knew the struggle I was going to go through with food. He knew the path this would lead me down. I believe it’s how I handle it now that matters the most.
So here I am, writing this blog that isn’t something that I normally write. Trying to take accountability for myself, and for my relationship with food. I’ve started a new health journey, friends, and it has been difficult. I’ve never struggled so much with a lifestyle change, as I am right now. However, since beginning this change I have lost 14lbs and 6oz in two weeks. I am currently in my 3rd week. Even though I know those big drops have a lot to do with my body adjusting to this new style, I am proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished. This hasn’t been a simple task and I’m tempted by the food that I can’t currently eat, every day. However, the knowledge that I have gained from this program far outweighs the temptations! I’m learning to grow not just physically but also mentally. I’m learning new ways to handle this relationship with food, and the things that are important to change when trying to lose weight. This is definitely not something that when I reach a goal weight, I’ll stop doing it all. This is a journey that I’ll never stop learning about!
I know this post is strange, something out of character for me to post about. But I’m excited to see where God leads! I want to honor Him with every part of my life, weight and all!
Until next time!
Faith and Coffee 