Faith and Coffee
Relying on Jesus All day Long
4 Suggestions to Help Parent in 2024
Posted on September 9, 2024
I think we can all agree that parenting is so difficult, but parenting in 2024 can be even more so. While some things never change, there seems to be much more pressure in different areas than when I was in school! My 13 year old (she’ll be 14 near the end of the month) daughter just started her freshman year of high school, and needless to say, it hasn’t been the easiest experience. Don’t get me wrong, her 7th and 8th grade years were pretty rough, and it seems to just have followed her into 9th. There’s not one right way to parent through 2024, and I am definitely not claiming to be an expert at all. I fail every day, but am so thankful that the Lord continues to bless me with a new day to try again, and to turn to Him! But here are some suggestions that I’ve learned throughout the time of parenting my kid through 2024.
1. Be a parent that they will tell anything to.
I cannot stress this one enough! I am so thankful that my daughter knows that every time she gets home from school, she can come up to me and say “I’ve got tea for you”! Do I care about all the “tea”? Nope! Do I care about who sat where at lunch or who was caught walking the hallway together? No, of course not! But do I love her? Yes! Will I listen to her because it’s important to her? Yes! She needs to know that I’ll be right there ready to listen to anything, even if it had nothing to do with her.
2. Talk them through everything.
What I mean with this one is to be there to talk every situation through with them. If they come home with some issue going on with them, or with someone they care about, then be there to help talk them through it. They need to know that you care, and that you’re not always going to get mad at every little thing. So be there to talk through situations with them, but also keeping your status as their parent and not friend. Especially if it’s something that they know is something you disagree with, they need you to help talk them through it, not lecture them or yell at them.
3. Sometimes it’s okay to just LISTEN!
You know how sometimes as wives we want to talk to our husbands about something going on, and their main focus is to figure out how to fix whatever issue we’re talking about? Then we just tell them, “I don’t want you to fix this, I just want you to listen”! That’s one thing I’ve noticed my daughter wanting more from me. There are times she doesn’t want me to give advice, my thoughts, my opinions. She just wants me to listen, and I need to respect that! We’re not being bad parents if we just stay silent and listen to them talk. We’re not being bad parents if we just let them learn on their own, because it could be a lesson that they need to learn. They just want us there because they know that they always have us to talk to. They want to know that we love them, and that even if they’re handling a situation in a way different than how we would, we will still be there to help them pick up the pieces, or celebrate with them if it all turned out okay! But just listening can be an encouragement to them.
4. Pray, pray, pray!!
This is by far the most important suggestion that I can give you! We truly cannot do the job of parenting well if we do not have the Lord. Honestly, if I didn’t have the Lord to turn to and ask “God, please help me with the words to say to her”, I don’t know what I would do!
“If any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” James 1:5
Asking the Lord for wisdom is one of the smartest things we can do. Like any situation in our lives, He’s waiting for us to just come running to Him! For parents, moms especially, it’s so easy to let our “mama bears” out. I know I’ve done that more than I’d like to admit. We get used to defending our children, then blaming it all on our “mama bear”. While yes, the Lord has put that desire to protect our children in us, we also need to turn to Him to tell us when we need to get involved or not.
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.” Ephesians 1:16-17
Praying for our children is so important, especially the times when they really don’t want us to get involved! We need to pray and ask the Lord to put His wisdom on them, and to help guide them in the way He wants them to go. But then we also need to pray and ask the Lord to let our children open their hearts to His wisdom, and listen to what He is calling them to do in the situation.
Prayer is such a powerful tool, one that we tend to forget about pretty easily. We have this amazing, mighty God who loves our children more than we do! He wants us to be able to turn to Him for wisdom to help them, and also asking Him to give them the wisdom they need.
Parenting is hard, and honestly these 4 suggestions are just that–suggestions. But these are also suggestions that I have seen work with my oldest, and I pray that they will work for you as well! My friends, I know it’s hard, and I know it’s hard to see our kids struggling in school, and then bringing that struggle home. But I pray that the Lord’s arms will just wrap around your home, and that He will give you the wisdom to speak to your teen!
Until next time!
Relying on the Promises of God: Part Two
Posted on October 12, 2022
Welcome back, friends! I know that once again; it has taken me a bit of time to get out another post. But any parents know how difficult it can be with kids! Thankfully, the Lord has given me the strength I need to push through, and the ability to sit down and write to you all!
I wanted to get the part two of relying on God’s promises out to you all, because it has been encouraging for me, and I truly hope it’s encouraging for you!
In part one, we looked at a promise and what a promise means. We looked at the worldview definition, but then we also looked at a biblical definition. Both definitions held the same meaning.
That we will do what we said we will do.
Except there is one thing that differs between the definitions.
That God is unchangeably committed to His promises. And we, as believers, can totally depend on it!
The worldview definition never used those words. They said that a promise was something that someone said they would definitely do. Never did it mention how that means we can totally depend on them doing what they said they would. That’s because people can sometimes have a hard time keeping a promise. I realize that not all broken promises are done from a hurtful place, but sometimes it’s an accident, or you just couldn’t keep the promise because of something being in the way.
There are so many promises that the Lord has made to us, that it would be many parts to write about them all! So let’s look 4 different promises of God that we know we can fully depend on!
1.) He is the only way to Heaven!
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6 NIV
There’s the first promise! He tells us that He is the way, the truth and the life! We aren’t able to get to Heaven unless we have accepted Him in our hearts! There is no other way to get to Heaven. We can’t get to heaven by doing good works, or being kind to people, or being a good person. We have to believe that Jesus died on the cross for us, taking our sin upon Himself, then rose again on the third day! That’s the only way to Heaven, and it’s a direct promise to us that it’s the only way!
2.) We can turn to Him when we are feeling sad or heavy-hearted!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Whenever we feel upset about a situation that we can’t change, like losing a loved one, or losing a job, the Lord wants us to know that we can turn to Him for the strength that we need! We have a mighty Lord on our side, who will be there to lift us up, and He will give us the rest that we need. He will be there to help us through any hardships. He is the strength that we can depend on! What a powerful promise to remind us that we don’t have to go through these trials alone. We have this strong, amazing God, who is going to be there for us, and to strengthen us!
3.) That He will never leave us or forsake us!
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Joshua 1:5 NIV
This one gives me goosebumps! I love the fact that we can fully depend on the Lord, and to always know that He will never leave us! We will never walk through life alone, because we have this Almighty God that is walking next to us! We may not see Him, but sometimes we can feel His presence! There have been many times where I have felt alone, and that I had no one I could turn to. I felt like I had to go through one of my biggest trials with no help, and a feeling of complete loneliness. But God is good, and I knew He was with me every step of the way! Does this mean we will never go through any trials? Of course not! It just means that we will have our amazing God on our side!
4.) He is coming back one day!
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
John 14:3
One of the most amazing and most powerful promises of them all! He is coming back for us! He has gone to Heaven to prepare a place for us, but then He will come back for us! What a great promise to hold on to! One day we will be with Him in Heaven to live forever with Him!
Friends, God’s promises are powerful and incredible! They are the promises that we can cling to, knowing that they will happen! We never have to worry about whether He is being truthful to us, because we know He is the only one that keeps His promises! What an amazing God we serve!
I hope this encourages you to rely on God’s promises, and to dig deeper and learn more about them. Not just the ones I wrote about, but all the other promises that He has given to us! Continue to trust in Him, and remember that you are never alone!
Until next time, friends!
Giving Grace
Posted on September 13, 2022
Recently things have been difficult with our 11, almost 12-year-old. A lot of it is preteen things, and things that puberty brings out. However, it really doesn’t make things any easier for her dad and me! Many times she asks us to do things with her friends, have friends sleepover, go somewhere, get her something, etc, etc! But when she treats us how she does, it makes her dad and I not want to do anything for her. If she can’t treat us with respect, why should we do these things that she clearly doesn’t deserve?
Grace, my friends…grace.
But she doesn’t deserve grace! I know that, and you know that! She and her friends had a birthday party to go to on a Saturday. I then allowed her two best friends to sleepover Friday night, and then take them all to the party. After that, I allowed her one friend to stay the night again so she could come to church with us the next day. But didn’t I just say how hard things have been with her and her attitude? Yes. And didn’t I say that it made me not want to do anything nice like this for her? Yes, again. So why did I? Grace, my friends…grace.
Grace: The love and kindness that God gives to people.
macmillandictionary.com
God’s Grace
God is the one who has shown us what it truly means to have grace. He has given us grace by giving us a way to Him. The gift of salvation is something none of us deserve, however God is good and His grace is never ending! Because He has given us this grace, we can repent of our sins and live forever with Him! How wonderful is that! If the Lord decided to not have grace towards us, then we would all get what we truly deserved, an eternity in hell.
Have you ever been to the ocean and watched the waves come crashing in, over and over? I love standing there and just watching the waves come to the shore. To me, it’s powerful. They’re continual, never ending. Sound familiar? The same goes for the grace that the Lord gives to us! They are constantly coming and never ending!
Standing on the beach, and watching the waves come over and over, was a powerful reminder to me of what God’s grace is!
Grace to my Kids
I remember growing up, and my sisters and I would always give my mom a hard time. We would then ask for something, or to do something, and sometimes my mom would allow it to happen. She would then ask us if we knew why she was allowing it, even though we were being so bad. She would then say, “Grace is something that you don’t deserve. You don’t deserve to do this, but I am going to have grace and allow you to do it.” To this day, that is always on my mind. That is why I allowed our daughter to have her friends over! Even though she didn’t deserve it, I gave her grace and allowed her to have them over.
Just because we give grace doesn’t mean we need to be pushovers.
I believe a lot of times people take the idea of grace, and “overdo” it. Will I continue to show my daughter grace every single time she talks back to me, lies to me, or disobeys me? Absolutely not. I still have to be her parent and teach her that those things aren’t okay. But allowing her a one time sleepover was maybe the grace she needed to work on her attitude.
Sometimes, if we are too gracious, we can easily become pushovers. I’m not saying that we constantly need to give grace to the friend that talks about us behind our backs, or is rude, or tries to cause issues. I’m not saying we need to constantly show grace to the person who belittles you every time you are with them. No. Sometimes those are the people that you just need to let go of. If we are too gracious, people can see that as a weakness and use it against you.
Like everything, there is a balance. Once in a while, we can show God’s grace to someone, even when they don’t deserve it. However, there are other times when we need to just walk away from that person. We can still show them the love of God, but sometimes the grace needs to be limited. Just like our children, we can sometimes have the grace to allow them to do something that they don’t deserve, but that doesn’t mean it has to happen all the time. We still must parent them and teach them right and wrong.
I won’t say that I have figured out how to balance giving grace…
But I believe that it’s something that we must try to understand. God’s grace is beautiful, overwhelming, wonderful, unconditional, and so much more! Being able to truly understand His grace is something that I don’t believe we will ever fully understand. But I pray I can learn how to give grace to others, but to also protect myself, and stand up for the Lord. I want others to experience the unconditional grace, like the waves at the ocean! That’s the grace that I get to experience every day! I want my daughter to understand how beautiful grace is, but to know that the way she treats me isn’t pleasing to the Lord, and it needs to change.
I praise the Lord for His gift of grace, even though I don’t deserve it!
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…
Posted on August 29, 2022
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
Does that quote sound familiar? We all know that this is a quote from the Disney movie Snow White. The Evil Queen has a magic mirror and asks it every day who is the fairest of them all. Every day the mirror says that she is, except one day when it told her that it was no longer her, but it was Snow White. That sent the Evil Queen into a hissy fit, and she conspired a plan to have Snow White killed. All because she was no longer considered the prettiest anymore.
Although the mirror was magic, the Evil Queen still wanted to feel like she was the most beautiful. She was upset when she didn’t meet the mirror’s expectations. I’m sure it wasn’t the mirror that she was trying to impress, but more of the people in her kingdom. If the mirror said she wasn’t the fairest anymore, then would everyone in her kingdom also believe that she wasn’t the most beautiful? The Evil Queen was focused on what she looked like and what others thought of her.
I feel bad for the Evil Queen. Crazy that I would say that, right? Well, I do. I feel bad for her because she obviously wasn’t happy with herself, and how she looked. She needed that improvement from an object to feel like she was good enough.
I Think We all have a Magic Mirror
I realize mirrors can’t really talk, but somehow they do. Whenever I look into a mirror, I cringe. I find I critique myself based on what I see in the mirror. If I was to ask my mirror who the fairest of them all is, I would bet it would laugh and say “Definitely not you”! There’s a song that came to my mind as I started working on this post. This is the first verse of the song.
Mirror, Mirror on the wall
Mirror by BarlowGirl
Have I got it?
Cuz, Mirror you’ve always told me
Who I am.
I’m finding its not easy
To be perfect
Kind of hits home, doesn’t it? I know for me; I find myself asking that question so often, and I realize it isn’t healthy at all. We focus so much on what we look like, because the world tells us to! We listen to our magic mirrors instead of listening to the One who created us!
For you created my inmost being;
Psalms 139:13-16 NIV
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
The Lord created me; He created you! We were knit together in our mother’s wombs by him. He made us, and He made us perfectly and wonderfully! Why then do we find it so easy to doubt what He has made? Why is it we critique ourselves, and say that every little thing that we hate is a mistake? It’s easy to think that the Lord “messed up” when He made me. I think about that quite a bit. I’m overweight, and it’s so easy for me to look at myself and think how much the Lord screwed up in making me. So, if I say that He messed up in the way He created me, then am I saying that He isn’t an Omnipotent (ALL powerful) God? Basically, yes. That is what I’m saying. Do I mean that? No, but when we think that way, that is what our hearts truly feel.
So God created mankind in His own image,
Genesis 1:27 NIV
in the image of God He created them;
male and female He created them.
He created us in HIS image. HIS IMAGE! Wow! He knows He didn’t make a mistake. He is just waiting for us to realize that.
Thinking Bad about Ourselves Damages Others too
This was something that was difficult for me to write, because I don’t like thinking that I’m damaging others with the way I look at myself. How can that be? After all, it’s my body I’m talking about. No one else! It took me a while to realize that the way I view and talk about myself will affect the way my kids’ view and talk about themselves. They watch everything that we parents do and say, including the ways we critique ourselves. My oldest comes to me in tears because she doesn’t like this small little belly that she has. I tell her she looks beautiful, and she says “I don’t feel like it”. That felt like a punch in the gut, because there have been many times I’ve told my husband that I didn’t feel pretty even when he tells me that I’m beautiful. They really learn from us, and they will start to act the same way that we do. And yes, I believe this goes for both girls and boys! Boys can have self-image problems too. I want my girls, and my boy, to know that they are wonderfully made and are perfect! No matter what they may look like! They were made in the image of Christ, and that’s the most important part!
The Devil uses Our Critiques for his Good
When we talk like this about ourselves, we are allowing the devil to get a foot into our heart. We’re allowing him to use this struggle to hate the Lord because of how He made us. We can’t let him win! We can’t let him use these little things to bring so much hate in our hearts. The devil works in so many ways. Satan uses things like social media, magazines, reality tv, books, and so much more to make us question how we look. He constantly reminds us of what the world believes is beauty, and how we don’t even come close to being accepted as beautiful, to the world. There may be things you don’t even think he is using to control our thoughts, but trust me, they are all around. Satan knows what our biggest weaknesses are and he will take that and run with it. Anything to make us doubt the Lord!
Remember that song from earlier? There’s more to it!
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I am looking into the eyes of who made me.
And to Him, I am beauty beyond compare
I know, He defines me.
Yeah,Who are you to tell me that I’m less than what I should be?
Mirror by BarlowGirl
Who are you? Who are you? Yeah yeah.
I don’t need to listen to the list of things I should do.
I won’t try. No-oh I won’t try.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall..
I don’t care anymore what you think of me, or what the world may think of me. I know that I am perfectly and wonderfully made, and that I was made in the image of the Lord! God doesn’t make mistakes, and I know He didn’t make any mistakes when He formed me! Does that mean that I can just eat whatever and not worry about exercising or staying healthy? Absolutely not!
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
This verse reminds me that our bodies are the Lord’s temple. We have to take care of ourselves, because that is important! I believe that this verse is not only talking about taking care of ourselves physically, but also spiritually. It’s important that although we are not defined by the world’s view on beautiful, we also need to take care of this body because the Lord made it, He created it for us! We need to honor the Lord by taking care of what He perfectly and wonderfully designed!
My friends, never forget how truly beautiful you are!
Faith and Coffee 
You must be logged in to post a comment.